THE TONY DANZA SHOW    12/8/05   Transcript by Gary W Rad

 

 

TONY- All right, we're back. My next guest was a star on the hit series LOST before his character Boone fell out of a tree and off the show. But now, guess what, he's been found. He's appearing in a new play...a play right here in New York. It's called DOG SEES GOD: CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE BLOCKHEAD. Please welcome back to the show Ian Somerhalder.

 

(audience applauds as Ian walks out, a security tag clearly visible on his sweater)

 

IAN - (picking up the playbill for the show on a nearby table)  DOG SEES GOD.

 

TONY- Ian, thank you. I mean..don't get me wrong, man...welcome back.

 

IAN- Thank you for having me back.

 

TONY- No, it's our pleasure...but did you steal that shirt ? It seems like you still have that thing on there.

 

(audience laughs as Ian shows the tag)

 

IAN- I did not steal the shirt. I promise.

 

TONY- Well...

 

IAN- This was left...the security tag...

 

TONY- I saw it as we were...

 

IAN- (bleeped by the censor !)

 

TONY- ...sneakers you leave the tag or something.

 

IAN- I guess it could be but I think these explode.

 

TONY- Yeah, what is that ?

 

IAN- We had a show last night and in between, you know, our dinner break I wanted to get a nice sweater to do this show.

 

TONY- Well, it is a nice sweater. I was going to say don't leave it around...

 

IAN- Thank you.

 

TONY- But then I saw the thing.

 

IAN- And I kind of rushed out of the store. I mean I paid for it, though.

 

TONY- You did pay, though.

 

IAN- I did.

 

TONY- OK, because they're probably watching right now and they're going "that's my sweater !"

 

IAN- If I didn't though you'll pick up the bill, right ?

 

TONY- Yeah, it's on us. By the way, today's your birthday, right ? Happy birthday !

 

(audience applauds)

 

TONY- Happy birthday ! Now how old are you, Ian ?

 

IAN- 27

 

TONY- 27 years old

 

IAN- 27...

 

TONY- You rotten kid...that's all I have to say. What are you doing for your birthday... you got plans, other than doing the show ?

 

IAN- It's a great birthday present.

 

TONY- Yeah, uh huh.

 

IAN- Just gonna enjoy New York.

 

TONY- That's it.

 

IAN- Back in the city.

 

TONY- Any birthday stories that stick out in your mind ?

 

IAN- You know it's funny when you have a birthday you always think back to those days...10 years ago this, 10 years ago that...

 

TONY- Well some of us think more than 10 ! Wisenheimer ! (audience laughs)

 

IAN- Well I can remember 20 back then. Yeah, I think I had a...probably when I was 8 or 9 I had this roller skating party. It was in one of those lock ins, you know, where they lock the kids in...pretty much I think it's just because parents want to go out that night...but there was this girl that I had such a crush on and she was much taller than all the other kids and she decided that for my birthday that we were gonna make out all night.

 

TONY- Really ?

 

IAN- In the lock in...

 

TONY- How old were you, 9 ?

 

IAN- I think I was about 9...10 maybe...which is pretty young.

 

TONY- I think that's when I had my first kiss actually. Did you get your first kiss that night ?

 

IAN- Yeah, it was pretty intense...it was great. She just decided...it was in the corner of the skating rink... we had a great view of everybody...and it was beautiful. It's one of those things you always remember.

 

TONY- I remember mine (Tony goes into a long story about HIS first kiss).

 

TONY- All right, so let's talk about DOG SEES GOD.

 

IAN- DOG SEES GOD

 

TONY- CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE BLOCKHEAD...it's a prequel or something to Peanuts ?

 

IAN- Imagine some of America's most beloved comic strip characters as teenagers now, in high school dealing with real life issues in 2005, I guess soon to be 2006.

 

TONY- Yeah, real soon.

 

IAN- If you can imagine it's really interesting. The cast of this show is unbelievable and it has been so fun. I mean I feel like a broken record...

 

TONY- I saw Eliza Dushku on Regis the other day...so she's doing the play with you.

 

IAN- She's doing it...great super young cast.

 

TONY- Who do you play ?

 

IAN- I play...well now my character if I may say so is obsessed with cleanliness...if you get what I mean.

 

TONY- Oh...so...was it Pigpen ?

 

IAN- For lack of better words.

 

TONY- (laughing) That's the character, isn't it...yeah.

 

IAN- He was pretty dirty.

 

TONY- Uh huh, all right...well listen...

 

IAN- Now he's sort of an OCD...to the point he's walking around with a holster of hand sanitizer.

 

TONY- Hand sanitizer. I do that sometimes myself.

 

IAN-   So if you shake my hand after the show, it's always clean.

 

TONY- It's clean. All right that's good to know. By the way, do you miss LOST ? Are you gonna come back ? Is there any like flashbacks ?

 

IAN- I miss...I miss Hawaii...I do. Um, you know, you never know. These guys were so creative, they did it this season. Who knows ?

 

TONY- We miss you on the show, we do..

 

IAN- Thank you so much.

 

TONY- (shaking hands with Ian) Clean hands ! DOG SEES GOD: CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE BLOCKHEAD. It opens December 15th at the Century Center in New York City. I'll come and see it, okay ?

 

IAN- Yeah, please do.

 

TONY- I will, okay. We'll be right back.